Developing Community Agreements in the Forest Primes (K/1)

During the first few Morning Meetings of the school year, we asked the Forest Primes questions as a way to develop some common language for how to BE in community with one another. Here are some of their responses…

What can you do to be kind?

Ember: Saying things like, “Are you okay?” If someone falls. 

Bea: Helping people.

Rebecca: Inviting a friend to play.

Immy: Listening.

Twilight Sparkle: Helping people when they get hurt. 

Alicia: Helping people get up if they are crying. 

Val: Greeting people with a friendly smile and asking their name. 

What makes you feel safe? What makes you feel safe at school?

Ember: I feel safe when I’m with a grownup for new things.

Noa: I feel safe when I’ve asked permission to go past a boundary.

Ember: I feel scared of being alone.

Leo: When I’m with my family I feel safe. 

Bea: When I’m walking with my mommy.

Psilas: When I don’t go out of boundaries. I listen to a teacher or if  a grownup is nearby to help with a problem.

Immy: When I’m twirling my invisible mustache.

Ruby: Listening to music on my headphones with all of my animals. 

Alicia: When people are not looking at me in the bathroom.

Rosa: When I’m with Luke my cat.

Gracie: When I already know somewhere is a safe place. 

Jenny: When I use self control, like when I want to do something but I stop and  say to myself, “that’s not safe.” 

Val: When I feel heard and listened to. 

Oona: I feel safe when we’re all together.

Alicia: When no ones telling me what to do.

Ruby: I like being with the chipmunks near my hammock.

Twilight Sparkle: When Alicia is playing with me I feel safe.

Immy: When I’m with somebody else. 

Bea: At school I feel safe playing with my friends.

Ember: And exploring with a teacher. 

Rosa: I feel safe swinging in my hammock spot. 

How do we take care of each other?

Immy: Be kind. Like, to Xyla I might say, “I like your sweatshirt!”

Rowan: Saying “sorry” when accidents happen.

Twilight: When someone is hurt saying, “are you okay?” Or going to get a teacher. 

Ruby: When someone falls make sure they are okay. 

Immy: Noticing when someone is sad. I saw a friend today. She was sad near the guardrail on her face. I could tell she was sad. 

Rowan: People sometimes change their voice when they don’t feel okay. 

Jenny: It is really powerful to notice how people are feeling. The other day Synphany noticed I was having an embarrassed feeling, and I didn’t even know it could show!

Grace: We can take care of each other by asking what happened so we know how to help people feel better. 

Alicia: When a person is walking and they have a smile on and they’re pretending to be happy even though they are sad you might be able to tell and you could say hey are you okay?

Oona: Being gentle.

Ember: Your tone.

Rosa: How can we take care of each other if we don’t even know somebody is hurt?

Rowan: We have to go and check on people!

Ember: If there was a wild berry don’t say hey you can eat this because it could be poisonous.

Psilas: If someone is getting hurt don’t think oh well someone will take care of them sooner or later. Be the change!

Jenny: Take time to get to know each other. 

Val: Part of taking care of each other is also taking care of ourselves. 

Alicia: If a person falls you could pass them a note that says, “Are you okay?”

What does it mean to be fair? 

Bea: To help people and stand up to people to help them if they need it. 

Psilas: If you and your friend are doing a challenge and they cheat, that’s not fair. Like if you’re doing a race and someone has an electric scooter. It wouldn’t be honest. 

Leo: If someone has more cool stuff than you. Like they have three or two and you just have one. 

Immy: If you’re doing a race and it said to not practice, but one person does practice that’s not fair! 

Val: Hmm.. yeah so if someone else is starting up with more of an advantage, that might not feel fair to other people. 

Oona: Or when someone has more of something and you don’t. 

Rowan: Once my brother did something that was mean and took all the blame on me and I had to go to my room for no reason at all. That didn’t feel fair. 

Alicia: One time we were at the store and Goobie got a yellow lollipop but I wanted it. 

Rosa: Standing up to people when things are not fair. 

Val: Fair does not mean equal.

How can you be true to yourself? 

Bea: Love yourself!

Immy: Be kind to nature!

Alicia: When you’re being unkind, stop and listen to your friends.

Noa: Think… should I do this?

Ruby: I know who I am. I like doing the animal jobs in the morning so I know I will want to have  a farm when I grow up with lots of animals. 

Noa: And I will want to make clothes because at camp I made real clothes for myself and I felt really proud. 

Rosa: You can’t choose for somebody else. 

Oona: I know how I am because I like to take care of my animals too.

Immy: I know myself being brave because today I fed my cat for the first time in the basement. 

As we started to prepare for summarizing their good thinking into a group experience it was important to make sure that everyone’s voice was heard. Val created a ‘worksheet’ with a symbol of a tree on it and from the roots came 5 principles: Be Kind, Be Safe, Be Fair, Take Care (of yourself, each other, materials and all living things) and Be True to Yourself. Each child was interviewed about their own interpretations of these concepts and how they might apply to being their best self as a Forest Prime. We see this as a sort of living document that will be revisited and redefined as the year rolls on.

Investment was at an all-time high by the end of the week when we held a ‘Special Agreement Ceremony’ complete with tea and a spontaneous fancy table setting. As we sat down and admired the collective work, Gracie said, “I can’t believe how beautiful it looks!” Each child was then invited to attach their name (written on a cardboard leaf) to the mural as a way to symbolically agree to try their best to follow these principles throughout our year together. As each leaf was added, we read aloud one of their ideas…

Twilight Sparkle: Just be kind!

Noa: Greet a new friend or an old friend who has not been at school for awhile, invite them to play AND explain the game to them.

Florence: Hold on with both your hands when doing hammock tricks, don’t let go when you are flipping.

Leo: Be mindful of how you use a tool. If the bluestone is sharp, don’t hold it by the sharp part. 

Psilas: A Forest Prime who is fair would make space for everyone’s ideas and they wouldn’t make people feel bad about their ideas.

Ember: Stand up for someone who doesn’t know how to stand up for themselves.

Immy: If there is a tree with a bunch of leaves and you need leaves for your game, don’t take all of them.

Ruby: Don’t just pull things out of peoples hands, wait your turn.

Alicia: If someone has some bowls and pans (a lot) they might notice someone who doesn’t and say “hey you don’t have as much as me, would you like some?”

Rosa: If someone was sitting on a stump looking serious and you didn’t do anything to them you could say, “are you okay?”

Rowan: Take some space if a feeling gets too big.

Oona: If you have a problem, check in with the person you have a problem with.

Bea: Act like yourself. Love yourself by knowing who YOU are.

Gracie: Question- what if you feel embarrassed to wear what you actually want to wear, so you wear what you think people think you should wear? Answer- Forest Primes should feel comfortable being their true selves, so this would be an important problem to solve together.

Xyla: The roots help the tree stand up.

Eligh: If the tree didn’t have any roots, it would just topple over. They make it stable.