Back to school: transitions, routines & excitement - oh my!
Back to school: transitions, routines & excitement - oh my!
Ahh, the time is finally here - the end of summer in New England - when one reaches for a sweatshirt upon waking to a crisp 50 degree morning and then quickly peels off that sweatshirt as the temperature climbs into the 80’s by lunchtime. The changing temperatures remind me that layering is essential and it is time to transition back to school - back to packing lunches, organizing the carpool schedule and settling back into the school routine. This school year (in addition to running skill groups, meeting with students individually, hosting lunch groups, providing lessons about various Mental health topics in classrooms and attending field trips and morning meetings as I get to know all of the students at the Center School) I will highlight a different mental health topic each month. I will send out resources for students and parents related to that topic as well as sharing resources on the Mental Health bulletin board (located on the bulletin boards directly across from the All School room). This month’s topic - Transitions!
Many folks find transitions difficult. Oftentimes, children and teens will externalize their internal experience of transitions by exhibiting unhelpful behaviors (tantrums, school refusals, anxiety, sleep disturbance, irritability, ‘regression’ of behavior). Children can often sense emotions related to transitions from their caregivers. The mindfulness and grounding strategies that I have included here are useful tools for caregivers as well. If we are able to model managing our own stress response to transitions, we can aid our children in reducing their anxious reactions.
Strategies for Transitions
Routine: Establishing routines for a child/teen reduces overall anxious symptoms and increases a child’s sense of agency and mastery. Children benefit from predictable schedules and are more able to integrate new experiences when they can rely on predictable routines.
TIPS: School Routine: Helping children pick out their clothes the night before school can save time in the morning and can prevent early morning squabbles!
Limit screens in the morning before transitions in an effort to keep children focused on the task at hand: transitioning from home to school!
Practice flexibility: Promoting flexibility supports a child’s ability to accept disruptions to their routine more easily. Practice modeling flexibility and engaging children in games and activities that promote flexibility. Make sure to talk about your own moments of practicing flexibility, “I was really looking forward to the event and it was canceled so I had to change my plans. I am disappointed and I will try to have fun anyway.”
Communication: When, what and how much to tell? Some children benefit from knowing all of the (age appropriate) information long before a transition occurs, while others benefit from learning small bits of information closer to the time of the transition. A child who has been diagnosed with anxiety, ADHD and/or ASD might need more support and extra time to process information related to transitions.
Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness strategies when a child is regulated so that they can employ those strategies when they are experiencing a transition/stress around a transition. Opportunities to practice mindfulness often occur organically. For example, ask your child to look out their window and name what they see on the way to school.
Normalize feelings around transitions: Balance validating the child’s feelings related to transitions while holding boundaries that help move a child forward in their routine.
Visual Cues: Display calendars, step-by step visual instructions of the morning routine, timers, and/or clocks that signal when it is time to move to the next step. Externalizing the routine to a visual cue can reduce power struggles and support folks who identify as neurodiverse!
Transitional object: A transitional object could include a tangible object that your child brings to school (favorite fidget or stuffed animal or even a specific article of clothing) and it could also include an audio book or podcast in the car on the way to school, “as soon as you are ready and in the car we can finish listening to that episode/chapter.”
Preview: Take a practice drive with your child to the location that you will drop them off. If possible, have your child meet their teacher, counselor or caregiver before you drop them off for the first time.
I look forward to getting to know all of you this year. I am available by phone and email for any questions that you may have and to help problem solve/talk through specific scenarios related to your child! (m.carr@centerschool.net).