On (Mis)communication with the Adventure Primes

Take a look at this photo. If you did not know the context of the game this child was playing, what might you assume? How would you feel?

It might seem aggressive or intimidating. You might think, "this person is pretending to shoot at me." You might feel scared and tell a teacher. You might feel the need to strike out to defend yourself.

In reality, the child in this photo was a part of a group of children pretending to be firefighters. Inspired by the fire drill earlier that morning, these children decided to use milk crates as helmets and select sticks to serve as their fire hoses. Then, they marched around the forest in search of fires to fight. In this instance, other children were able to understand quickly what their classmates were playing, because the firefighter crew marched around chanting, "We are firefighters! We are firefighters!"

When working with young children we find that almost every time a student complains that someone is "being mean" to them, they actually mean, "I don't understand what is happening and it makes me uncomfortable." Very often, this confusion and discomfort stems simply from miscommunication, or a lack of communication entirely. 

The lively group of 3-5 year old's in Adventure Primes this year engage frequently in large group dramatic play. Their play skills are impressive! Organizing and sustaining play involving multiple children involves not only creativity, but negotiation, compromise, problem-solving, impulse control, emotional regulation, and flexibility. It requires a large amount of communication in order to run smoothly.  The greater number of children playing together, the greater the opportunity for miscommunication.

Last week, the children organized many chasing games during our time outside in the woods, with 5-10 children playing at once. Chasing games are a universal part of early childhood, and are emotionally charged. They can feel at once exciting and overwhelming, and give children the opportunity to experiment with emotions like fear, bravery, power, and vulnerability. Much of our scaffolding of this kind of play involves making sure that everyone consents to what is happening in the game, and making sure that children know that they can stop at any time if the game doesn't feel fun anymore.

One morning, the chasing game involved a group of students being chased by monsters-- specifically, werewolves.

Early on in the game, I witnessed one student ask another, "Do you want to be a monster?"

"Yes," their classmate replied, and began growling and chasing the first student while reaching out with their hands.

The first child then ran to a teacher, saying that their classmate was scaring them.

Having seen the beginning of the interaction, the teacher was able to help facilitate communication between these two students.

"I heard you ask your friend to be a monster in your game and chase you. What kind of chasing will make you feel safe?"

The child then turned to their friend and stated, "If you want to play werewolf, the werewolves are only chasing-- not catching."

"Ok," their classmate agreed. And then the play resumed.

Even after 18 years of teaching, it is still easy to fall into the trap of making erroneous assumptions, or rushing in due to a desire to "fix" a situation. Later that same morning I noticed that the "chaser" looked upset-- almost to the point of tears. I approached them, saying, "You don't have to always be the one who is chasing. You can stop if it doesn't feel fun anymore."

Their frustrated response took me by surprise:

"I want to chase them, but I'm NOT a werewolf. I'm a person dressed up in a monster costume."  

Often we use the open-ended phrase, "how are you feeling about this game?" to get more information about what a child or group is experiencing. In this case, I had jumped too quickly to my conclusion instead of first making sure I understood the situation clearly. With this information, I was able to help the child pause the chasing game, and make sure that their playmates knew that this was, in fact, a human chasing them, not a werewolf. 

Supporting the children's play involves considering a variety of factors as we decide what level of scaffolding to provide. Will we give the child a suggestion and ask them to try it independently? Will we have them practice with us first? Will we narrate the play for a while and provide context that the children may be missing without disrupting the play? Will we ask the children to pause their game and explain why someone is feeling upset and offer suggestions of next steps?

A teacher might consider:
What do I know about this child's age and stage of development?

How comfortable is this child speaking up for themselves?

Do I need to consider any speech and language delays that might affect communication skills?

What is this child's play history? Are they new to joining in large group dramatic play?

Typically, in the beginning of the year, teachers provide more scaffolding. 

As children get to know each other and cultures of play develop, often we can pull back.

On Wednesday morning I witnessed some miscommunication occurring between some Adventure Primes.

A group of children dressed in capes and masks were pretending to be superheroes. Another child was pretending to sleep on the couch, and then jumping up to chase after the superheroes, growling fiercely.

"The bad guy is trying to get us!" the superheroes yelled and began trying to fight their growling classmate.

This child stomped back to the couch and lay down for a minute, and then walked over to me. "This bear is hibernating and doesn't want to get waked up," he explained.

He clearly wanted to play with his classmates, and had a specific scenario in mind.

In this case, I chose narration in order to keep the play flowing and support a child who is still becoming comfortable with large-group dramatic play.

"Shhh, don't wake the hibernating bear," I told the superheroes. 

The superheroes tiptoed past the bear, who then jumped up and chased them for one circuit around the classroom before returning to their "den" on the couch.

This pattern repeated several times.

Later, the bear whispered to me, "The bear doesn't want them to wake up the baby bears."

Again, I called out, "This hibernating bear does not want you to wake up their babies. You know how upset parents get when you wake up a sleeping baby!"

The play continued for another 20 minutes or so, the classroom echoing with shrieks of excited delight each time the bear awoke to chase the superheroes.

As adults, the knee-jerk response of "use your words," is a common refrain when conflict arises between children. But what does that mean? What words? 

In Adventure Primes we are working to provide the children with concrete actions and very specific phrases in order to facilitate clear communication.

If you run away, it makes your friend think you are playing the chasing game. If you don't want to play, stop running, put a hand out  in front of you, and say, "Stop. I'm not playing that game."

I hear you saying "stop" to your friend. They don't understand what you want them to stop doing. Try saying, "Stop taking those sticks. We are using them for our fire. You can add more sticks to the fire if you want.

A huge part of teaching is engaging in the continuous cycle of observation, reflection, and then planning next steps. After a week and a half of school, we have amassed many observations and reflected on play patterns and common points of miscommunication.

While individual and small group conversations have taken place, it would be beneficial for the entire class to agree on some universally recognizable scripts to aid in communication.

Instead of jumping into this conversation, it is important to slow down and consider what information will help us prepare and plan for an effective discussion. 

I am curious how the children perceive playing together. How might they respond to questions such as, "How do you know someone is playing with you?" "What is fun about playing with other kids?" or "What is tricky about playing with other kids?" Knowing the age of the children and that abstract thinking is not a developmentally appropriate expectation for many students, how can we use visuals such as photographs, videos,  or role-playing to examine these ideas.

Communication is a skill the children will be working on all year long (and indeed, for their entire lives).
We are excited to see where this line of inquiry will lead us.