Uppers as a village

As our world becomes increasingly digital and our lives become increasingly defined by our detachment instead of our closeness, where do we practice connection? My cousin, an elementary school principal in the South Bronx, recently noted that school was one of the last, if not the last place, anyone has to be a connected human being. At the grocery store, you can wear your headphones, check out by yourself, and go home to the endless digital distractions and worries that claim your attention. Same for many other services now provided around town. Even now, AI friendships and romances are playing out in the millions every day, especially for young people. The troubling implications of this are discussed in a podcast I regularly listen to Your Undivided Attention (content warning for self-harm and social media addiction).

But at school, since those distractions are moderated, and not constantly running amok on our nervous system, we can still engage in the practice of getting to know others and ourselves. Think about the loneliness epidemic in the country. Yes, it's fueled by many things, perhaps most importantly the digital age, but also by circumstances like geography, infrastructure, city planning, etc. School is one of the only places where children get to be together in a large group for a long time. School being a haven for social learning/interaction is something we take very seriously here. 

For most of human history, humans lived in bands of less than 200 people. Whether it be nomadic or agricultural, a village was the place where people really knew you, and missed you when you weren't there. Back then, survival was mainly based on cooperation, inclusion, and connection. Our neighborhoods aren't as tight-knit as they used to be, but our senses and social needs remain identical to those of our ancestors. School becomes the main place to fill that need for connection.

But while friendship occurs naturally and easily for many, modeling what it looks like in real-time is an essential part of what teachers do. Our small class sizes, and multi-age classes, enable teachers to take a long time to get to know the students in a way that fosters (nay, teaches!) the ways of friendship. Maybe you have a schtick with a certain student where they ask you a silly question every day and you keep coming up with even sillier answers. Maybe you learn about their outside-of-school activities and keep up with their lives, asking about their choir practice or going to see their youth theater productions. Maybe you are such a big part of their life that you visit them when they're in the hospital, bringing them a favorite snack and a friend to talk with. I have experienced all of these moments as a teacher at the Center School. 

When these moments are witnessed and shared by the community, it becomes a way of keeping our humans together like in the villages of olden times. In the face of increasing social isolation and fracture, this connectivity is paramount to instill as part of life for young people.  Friendship and its reward take work, especially in times of loneliness.

So go out there and be a friend!