Remember to breathe

Dear Friends,

When I thought about writing you on this of all days, I felt some pressure*. I wanted to say something comforting and I wanted to be able to give you something to hold onto on Election Day, and the days afterwards. I remembered last time: parents in a haze on that Wednesday morning, more than one stopping for a hug and some reassurance, and an answer to the question, “What do we do now? What do we say to our kids?” (I remember my mouth felt like it was full of dust, not answers). And one father in particular, who, when we embraced let out the deepest, most bereft sobs and then couldn’t stop. My heart broke that morning.

So, thinking of that dad and all of you, I started desperately Googling. Questions like, “How to talk to your kids during this election.” You wouldn’t believe how many news sources have written that story in the last week. NPR, the Times, CNN, HuffPost, so there’s that. There’s this cool site too, a news source for kids themselves. I wanted to be able to give you answers, just in case. https://www.xyzanews.com.

I also wanted to give you poetry and art that you could surround yourselves with this week, and which would be comforting and galvanizing. I even looked for art we could do together: https://www.npr.org/2020/11/02/929538210/anxious-on-election-night-join-mo-willems-for-a-democracy-doodle

I looked for ways we could all be "of use" for the days and days following the election, no matter who wins: https://www.nationalservice.gov/serve

Here’s one of Josie’s favorite poems, too, on the same topic: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/57673/to-be-of-use

A Center School mom wrote to me last week to suggest a day off on Wednesday: “…assume Wednesday is going to be an academic washout. Give everyone (kids/teachers) the day off since everyone will be wiped out (older kids may tune in with parents till late Tuesday night; younger ones pick up parental vibes (so will older kids)) — regardless of whether there’s a winner and who it is or whether there even is a winner it may be a sea of emotional fried-ness.” I love this mom. I loved her idea. But then I remembered last time. And I remembered how we held the kids that day, and I knew we needed to have school. We do that while helping parents have a moment to collect their feelings. And we can give kids a place for theirs. Whatever the result, the Center School will be a haven for children, and their teachers will soak up their students’ natural bounce and their need to get on with things and just BE. We will also be there for the kids who want to process. We’ll listen, we’ll inform, we will help them find ways to act. Because, really, no matter who gets elected, there’s always action to be taken.

Finally, even though we can’t have an All School assembly and sing together and be in community on Wednesday morning like we did last time, we can email and send air hugs through car windows, and we can Zoom. I’ve decided to hold a Zoom Parent Coffee on Wednesday from 10am-11am so we can be together. I don’t knit but you could, or maybe we could play some sort of game, or share stories. Or we could start the revolution.

Until then, breathe. *

Charlie Spencer

Head of School