Worry
Dear Friends,
I am always worrying. Just ask my spouse or my mom or my kids. Luckily, I have a job where I am actually SUPPOSED to worry. I am paid to worry. I'm very well suited to this line of work!
One thing I am always worrying about is the impact of social media and screen time on kids. My kids. Your kids. I think back to when my children were little and there were no smart phones and I feel grateful, simply that I didn't have the choice to worry about phones. But as my kids grew, I found myself as unsophisticated and naive as the children in my life, as we all began to navigate the world of social media and "screen time" together. Several years later, I feel addicted to my phone sometimes and as often put off by it. I hear myself saying the same things over and over again to my teenage sons, "Read a paper book. Your eyes are turning square. Take a break from videos and memes!" Mostly, they indulge me, because I think instinctively they also feel addicted and put off.
As an educator and mom, I sometimes try to use this space as a forum for advice or insight. I don't want to take advantage of it though, and I definitely don't have a ton of definitive answers. I am also leery about quoting "studies" if I think the results will easily be debunked or countered or contradicted immediately by another study. So, I tend toward sharing my experience, quoting periodicals I respect. Today, I want to share a few key guidelines to consider around your child's media usage. Forgive me if these seem obvious, overreaching, or inadequate; there's a delicate balance to strike.
Talk, talk and talk more with your kids. Listen to what they have to say about screens and what they are experiencing.
Consider the guidance for screen usage from American Pediatric Association or WHO.
Limited device use can offer children learning opportunities for building independence and good habits. Learning the etiquette of when and where it is appropriate to use screens, learning self restraint, time management, and awareness of one's body and mind when on screens are all essential in today's world.
Teach kids texting and social media etiquette:
What you text, snap, or comment may have an impact on others that you might not expect. Don't swear, trash talk, or fight via text/chat.
Cyberbullying is illegal and kids can do it without realizing it.
Avoid texting or using screens when in social situations like eating meals, engaging in an organized activity-- be present.
Let an adult know if you have made a mistake or if you are worried about someone else who may be engaged in unsafe or risky activity.
Never post naked pictures. Ever.
Parents and caregivers need to educate ourselves on children's access to pornography.
Ok. Is my worry contagious? Please do write to me with suggestions or other tips we can share with each other on this mammoth topic!
Sending love,
Charlie Spencer
Head of School